i am so tired of people thinking i'm perfect. they seem to think i don't have any problems. when they want to encourge each other they just over look me. they think i'm this like machine who never stops.
well the truth is i'm tired. i have problems and i have to deal with them on my own cuz no one even tries to be there for me. i cling on to evey little encouraging thing someone says to me because it doesn't happen very often. and trust me i do stop. i can't even count the times i just lay on the floor and cry.
so i just wanted to let you know. i'm not some crazy indestructible perfect girl. i need people. i need friends. people say i seem stuck up and self confident and trust me i am pretty much the farthest thing from that.

a map of where i've been...

http://www.travbuddy.com/widget_map_display.php?id=78114

'imperfection is beauty.
madness is genius.
& it's better to absolutely rediculous
then absolutely stupid.'
-Marilyn Monroe

'Dying for something is easy because it is associated with glory.
living for something...is the hard thing.
living for something extends beyound fashion, glory, or recognition.
we live for what we believe.'

'You wonder why people choose fields away from the States when young people at home are drifting because no one wants to take time to listen to their problems. Ill tell you why I left. Because those Stateside young people have every opportunity to study, hear, and understand the Word of God in their own language, and these Indians have no opportunity whatsoever. I have had to make a cross of two logs, and lie down on it, to show the Indians what it means to crucify a man. When there is that much ignorance over here and so much knowledge and opportunity over there, I have no question in my mind why God sent me here. Those whimpering Stateside young people will wake up on the Day of Judgment condemned to worse fates than these demon-fearing Indians, because, having a Bible, they were bored with it---while these never heard of such a thing as writing.'
-Jim Elliot

2 Things working at starbucks has taught me...

1. I talk really quiet. Only on occasion do I make it through work without someone complaning that they can hardly hear me when I talk. At first I'd say sorry and try to be louder now it just bothers me and I just tell them to get some hearing aids...ok not really but I want to.

2. I need to work on my writing skills I probably can't even count on one hand how many times I've written SCF for a syrup cream frap and they make a java chip frap which is JCF. Ok I'm not gonna lie to you my J's don't look anything like my S's do but they just seem to assume that I can't write so they try to help me when really it is what they think it is.

yup thats about it...

Psalm 8:3-9
When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained,
What is man that You are mindful of him,
And the son of man that You visit him?
For You have made him a little lower than the angels,
And You have crowned him with glory and honor.
You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
All sheep and oxen—
Even the beasts of the field,
The birds of the air,
And the fish of the sea
That pass through the paths of the seas.
O LORD, our Lord,
How excellent is Your name in all the earth!

I love getting out of doors...I guess you could call it my hiding place, my place of solitude, my meeting place with God. It is so calm and still listening to the wind blow, the birds sing, the trees rustle. Oh it is a beautiful time. When I get out in creation by myself I feel as though life is but a dream with its ups and downs twists and turns all leading to to one place and when I'm there everything is in it's place, I don't worry about what I have to do later, when will this happen or this get done, everything is put into perspective and can put everything in its place. Its a wonderful time with me and my Lord, my love.

What is this thing called life...because I don't know how to live it.
I feel like a blind person trying to take a hike, if I'd only use my guide more maybe I wouldn't have all these scrapes and bruises.

I think I need to take a step back and rethink this whole thing...

Pirate ships and whatnot...

yup we went to go see the pirate ship at the beach...it was pretty much amazing. Grumpy Gracie (aka Joanna) was ssoooo excited!

-HAPPINESS
I've relized that sometimes choosing to be happy is kind of a joke. I don't believe that happiness is a choice.
I don't believe an individual can "decide" away a chemical embalance or be happy every situation.
I think Joy is a choice but also that you can have joy and still be sad. Joy is probably closer to a perspective then an emotion. . . I don't always have happiness to keep me going.
I won't try anymore to find it.
Why, after lying to the whole world,would i turn and try and lie to myself?
As a side note, i am actualy happy.

- josh -

" Anyway, I hope that you are doing well and enjoying being single :). I have no doubt that God has an amazing, godly, wonderful, gorgeous, funny, smart, awesome man for you out there. If He created Eve just for Adam, I'm sure God has created an "Adam" for you too! Just to let you know, I'm half giving myself the same advice right now :)." haha oh I love my friends!
You know I have been doing a lot of praying lately. but hey thats a good thing so i'm glad. as much as a wish life wasn't hard you know if life was all just fine and dandy it would be so boring and we wouldn't have much character. so i just press on.
yeah so i guess lately you could say i've been a little random in my thoughts...ok so maybe i'm just like this all the time.

yeah my life has been pretty silly lately. i almost started crying when i couldn't find a new devo book at the store. then i had to spend like 2 hours of the night with this girl who is always mean to me. but my friend said i have a pleasant laugh so i think that is a good thing. then i had a yummy misto. tomorrow i have the day off and i have no school. i got a bright red ribbon to go on my civil war dress. i love my family. the end.

oh quotes are amazing...

"Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So one hundred worshippers meeting together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be were they to become ‘unity’ conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship. Social religion is perfected when private religion is purified. The body becomes stronger as its members become healthier. The whole church of God gains when the members that compose it begin to seek a better and a higher life." -A.W. Tozer


"It will not do to say that you have no special call to go to China. With these facts before you and with the command of the Lord Jesus to go and preach the gospel to every creature, you need rather to ascertain whether you have a special call to stay at home." -Hudson Taylor

the beach...

Hannah, Tay and me just hanging out (ok just gotta say if Tay ever asks you to play truth or dare...just say no)

the boys

so there are some pictures from the beach. Those kids are great. We had some pretty amazing times together.

oh my guess what my parents gave me for graduation?!?!?! A TICKET TO MINNESOTA!!!!! Yup that's were I'm going to be this winter. I am way excited about it! it's gonna be the coolest winter break i've ever had!

so camping was amazing. i had sooo much fun. oh i love my friends there amazing. but i haven't realy been thinking about it because today was like the worst day so far of my year. So works been crazy, I turned in a paper that said what times i had school a couple days before the paper said i needed to turn it in by but i guess there was this unspoken rule that i was supposed to turn it in "weeks" earlier then i did but no one told me that. So now my manager is mad at me and the other people who didn't know the unspoken rule and i'm supposed to work when i'm supposed to go to classes. So pretty much i tried to get someone to cover my shift but no one would, no surprise to me, so i called my manager and left her a message saying i'm sorry about the misunderstanding but i did what the paper told me to do and i'm not going to be able to come to work because i have my first classes at school and to call me if she wants too. so now i am so scared they are going to be really mad at me but i mean i can't really just miss my first classes after i did everything right to get the work off. yeah if you couldn't tell i'm pretty upset about it all and have had a pretty emotional day. but oh well life goes on what happens happens.

well i'm leaving to go camping at the coolest beach ever tomorrow and then on monday i'm starting hancock. oh and i'm going to a bar-b-q for work tomorrow it is something about how we sold x amount of banana drinks. (i'm not sure how much x is) and i'm not gonna lie i'm getting pretty good at shoping : ) i've gotten some pretty cute stuff.
well thats it for now kids


this is one of my senior pictures.

Haiti was amazing!
yeah I really don't even know what to say about but you can see some of my pictures of it on my myspace which is... www.myspace.com/thewrightstuff
and if you want to know more well ask me about it!

well i'm off to haiti! it is pretty exciting. yup. i don't really have much to say about it just keep me and the team in your prayers! i will be back home on the 26!
bye!

well i leave for haiti on thursday...i am so excited...but it is crazy i didn't realize it was so close! a-mazing
i had my first 4th of july home in 2 years and it was really fun...i had to work for part of the day but work is fun cuz i'm actully getting the hang of what i'm supposed to be doing : )
i've been thinking alot lately...i like thinking alot..
i want to go to minnesota this winter but i'm gonna be working and going to college so i don't know if i will be able to which is kinda sad...

Well you guys our cat Bell had 3 kittens today and they were all still born. She had 2 this morning after church and then on just this evening. It was so sad. I feel so bad for our poor little cat. And yeah that is really all I have to say right now.

I'm Graduated!!!!

me and Britt after the ceremony

yup i did it. high school is over! amazing huh? Brittany and I with our friend Brittany who graduated with me.
and then there was grad night at disneyland...

emma and i arn't to screamo but we tried to sing along to Zach's music

pretty much the coolest sign i've ever seen! so i took a picture...

Oh friends are so funny. Like some friends stoped by while on there road trip the other day and oh man they make me laugh so hard. Jared comes up with the most random questions (like is Seth hot? or am I a gentleman?) and Seth's hair...umm yeah what can I say about that, I think I'm going to get Nate to like Josh Groban and then Phil well he is just weird (not that the rest of them arn't I just really don't know what to say about him except that he is pretty funny). And then Nichole got a job at starbucks!! So now we are partners (even though we work at different stores) Man she sounded the same way I did my first day. haha And well I don't really have much more to say. My graduation is on monday! Amazing huh? Kinda nervous because I am going to be singing but soon enough it will be over.
Well untill later...


"I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived." (Willa Cather)